Dreaming into Waking Life

October 31, 2008

It’s really quite rare that a dream follows me into waking life.  Usually they (if any) fade immediately upon waking, and any that linger quickly run away the more I try to remember them.

Today–from overnight–a dream bucked the norm, and followed me into waking life.  I don’t remember much detail, mind you, and it’s one of those things about dreams where things make sense while you’re in the dream itself, but logic and sense dissipate upon wakeful, rational, logical analysis.

I see a little black kitten dart across the road–I’m standing outside my parents’ house.  I am often frustrated at the way traffic often seems to wait until I need to back outta the driveway or otherwise park to arrive–and I think that as I see the kitten pause in the across-the-street-neighbor’s yard.  A car pulls onto the street and starts coming…I see the kitten dart back out into the road–suicidal, no?–but the car is not even slightly slowing down.  Fearing the kitten’s life, I step out into the road, arm out, presenting myself as an obstacle, praying the kitten isn’t hit.  Ignoring the car’s driver as the car stops, I search for the kitten–there it is! I chase it back into the neighbor’s yard, where it freezes, and I pick him up.  I carry him back across the street and into my parents’ house–I pass Christy on the stairs (how is she here?!? I hope she doesn’t think I’m trying to REPLACE her!–round the kitchen to the dining area & living room.  Cradling this terrified little kitten at my elbow, hoping Kayla doesn’t get defensive and territorial….wonder what my parents will think of me–at my age–bringing my first random animal into the house.  Then I wake…

And periodically since that, throughout the day, I’ve had flashbacks to Christy as a kitten. Remembering that time we went to the foster home her litter was at.  Going back for her.  Those first days with her confined to one part of the house, separate from Kayla, so they could get used to smelling each other.  Introducing them.  The way she was oh-so-playful. Her mischief–the ONE time she actually tried climbing the curtains. The time she streaked past me in a running leap that ended with her hanging from the back of the recliner as it slowly spun around.  Seeing her at the bottom of the stairs, and dropping a piece of paper, watching her watch it and pounce.  Getting another paper, tearing off a piece, and dropping it, and repeating til she ignored the paper and I had left the lower stairs looking like it had snowed.

More and more, I struggle with the idea of getting a kitten.  For all the logic I’ve had in the past of why NOT to get one, the more I think about it, the more I find myself considering just how to make it work. Considering just how willing I am to take on such a responsibility.

I started listening to The Shack today.  One bit that jumped out at me was the comment “Love always leaves a significant mark.”  And it’s true.  And love has its price–if you love, you open yourself up to hurt.  When it comes to, say, kittens…a kitten will quickly become a full-grown cat.  And with the natural, disparate life-spans between cats and humans…at 27-nearly-28 years old, it’s a reasonable assumption that even if I got a kitten at the youngest it could be independent of its mother…I would long outlive it.  Chances are, I’ll outlive two consecutive long-lived cats if the first were born today.

I know that despite the thoughts, I’m NOT ready for a kitten.  I still hurt too much from losing Christy.  But I would also have to face the fact that: I’m hurt this deeply having lost Christy.  Taking on even a young kitten now–I’d almost certainly face such a loss in the future.  On top of knowing that Kayla at 18 years and a month now is statistically at the extreme upper end of a cat’s lifespan, and I can hardly imagine what another deep loss will do to me emotionally.


And the weeks keep on…

October 30, 2008

It’s been five weeks, now.

My Thursday evening drives home from work are always haunted by the memory of that evening, of the suddenness of the loss.

My heart still hurts, I still grieve over her.

And two horrible thoughts linger, deep inside me.

Booking Through Thursday – Conditioning

October 30, 2008

Booking Through Thursday.

Are you a spine breaker? Or a dog-earer? Do you expect to keep your books in pristine condition even after you have read them? Does watching other readers bend the cover all the way round make you flinch or squeal in pain?

I tend to be all over the scale on that. Oh, I’d PREFER to keep my books in good condition–but it doesn’t always happen.

Take for example Time Spiral, the Magic: The Gathering novel I just finished yesterday. If you look really closely, you can see some lines running its spine from where I’d had it laying one part flat, the other held open to read, one-handed (since I mostly read at lunch/over meals). But I don’t lay a book down and force a bend/crack.

I’m also the sort that has little trouble with flipping the book over (covers & spine up, open page facing down) on a table, or bed, or floor, or where-ever the nearest surface is that will hold the book–though this is done mostly when I intend to return shortly to the book.

With hardbacks, I often wince at the sound but tend to hear the spine break a bit. Those, too, tend to get read over meals and such, so they lay flat and get held open…and by midway through the book, I’m sure that’s gotta be moving the condition from ‘new’ into ‘used’ territory.

As said, I’m not a stickler for pristine condition–nor do I particularly want to see the book deliberately, intentionally damaged.

I’m not at all a fan of wrapping the front cover (and accompanying pages) around. I personally can think of now particular “appropriate situation” for that, as it’s quite possible to simply hold the thing open without wrapping/folding the cover.

I’m a fan of keeping a book’s dustjacket in good condition–so it looks nice on the shelf between reads. So much so that I will first chance I get remove the dust jacket, and carry the jacketless hardback around while I’m working my way through the book…and restore the jacket to it upon completion and shelving.

As a comic book person, this applies to those as well.

Where once upon a time I was ever so concerned with keeping comics in pristine condition, now I just want to read ’em. As with books, I will not consciously/deliberately damage them*, but nor am I terribly concerned about maintaining some “mint condition” or such. “Bag and boarding” my comics is something I haven’t done in over a decade.

(* I will, however, pull out any offensive inserts (Navy & Army, I’m looking at you!) or four-page ad segments found in the center of the comic (Seriously….those are just ASKING to be pulled from the comic!). I’ll also pull out posters and such that are placed in the middle of the comic.

Wednesday Media Mix

October 29, 2008

Wednesday’s Media Mix

Halloween edition!

Listen: See if you can come up with 3 songs with the word “ghost” in the title.

Watch: Are you planning on watching any horror movies this week? If so, which ones?

Read: Name a scene in a book that gave you chills.

– Ghostbusters
– ?
– ?

Probably not, though I wouldn’t be opposed. If by myself, I’ll likely watch a zombie flick–perhaps Shaun of the Dead or Dawn of the Dead (original OR 2004, or both. Or just some of the extras on one of the DVDs)

There have been a number of scenes in books that have given me chills. Offhand, there was a scene in 2006’s 52 that actually creeped me out–when a mannequin reaches out to Ralph as if his wife brought back to life within it.

And I know there have been plenty of chill-causing scenes in Stephen King books I’ve read…

Another that comes to mind is from a Magic: The Gathering novel (part of the Invasion trilogy, can’t remember which volume it was, offhand, though).  The woman Gerrard loves is dying, and they attempt to save her-but it requires their belief in her surviving, and whatnot.  And I just remember the way the imagery of the scene struck me–it definitely gave me chills.  Maybe not in the Halloween-scary sense…probably more in the cutting-to-the-metaphorical-heart sense.

Magic Mythology

October 28, 2008

Today was a real treat as I read through Time Spiral.  A character I’ve long known of showed up–offhand, the first time I’ve ever encountered the character in any of the novels, as part of the story itself, as opposed to simply appearing on a card.

I’ve also located and read through several articles online about Magic: The Gathering, and have to say…especially on the story front, I’m re-hooked.  And if I had more people to play on a casual basis with, I could see actually getting back into the game in general.

As-is, I’m hoping to finish this book by Thursday evening…and still debating whether to jump on into the next book of the trilogy, or possibly go back to one of the earlier books, to see how stuff reads with me 9-some years older.

It’s very interesting to me, as I read this volume, how it refers to a fairly distant past on the world–and I remember reading stories that (at the time) were “present” with those same events.


October 26, 2008

It’s a shame that a company would feel the need to title a trade paperback/collected volume with a single story an “omnibus.”

It’s ONLY 12 issues. Avengers Forever, Inhumans, Crisis on Infinite Earths, other similar volumes. They make for good, healthy-sized TPBs. Add The Infinity Gauntlet and The Infinity War to that list (double-sized 6-issue minis). And when it IS just a single, overall story/arc…it just makes sense to include stuff in a single volume, AS that story.

DC in particular is guilty of the offense lately–Batman: Hush & Superman: For Tomorrow are both 12-issue arcs collected into two-volumes apiece (5 and 7 issues for Batman, I think 6 and 6 on Supes). Meanwhile, the Justice series has been collected into three (!) 4-issue volumes.

Devil’s Due finished off their run of G.I. Joe collected volumes with the G.I. Joe: World War III Omnibus. Because it collects the entire arc in a single volume. To me, it ought to simply be G.I. Joe: World War III, aka “vol. 5” (or whatever number in the tpbs it is).

“Omnibus” to me implies something collecting multiple volumes/etc (the Aliens Omnibus vol. 1 from Dark Horse, for example, collects THREE different TPBs’ worth of story, three different stories, into a single volume, hence the title “omnibus” fitting).


October 26, 2008

I have Kayla sitting on this ottoman…I can pick her up, and hold her; she can meow and purr and make noise and she’s just…..tangible.


I moved a chair, and found a box of Christy’s toys. I’m nearly in tears for it.