“Weep Not For Me”

December 24, 2008
Christy sleeping under rocking chair

Christy sleeping under rocking chair

Weep not for me though I am gone
Into that gentle night
Grieve if you will, but not for long
Upon my soul’s sweet fight.
I am at peace, my soul’s at rest.
There is no need for tears.
For with your love I was so blessed,
For all those many years.
There is no pain, I suffer not
THe fear now all is gone.
Put now these things out of your thoughts
In your memory I live on
Remember not my fight for breath
Remember not the strife
Please do not dwell upon my death
But celebrate my life.

~ Constance Jenkins



December 24, 2008

Last night, I dug through a couple of recent shortboxes and pulled out a bunch of particular comics.  With several events recently concluded or nearing their end, I figured it was time to bring ’em all together. (That, and I plan to loan some to friends, particularly the craptacular Secret Invasion from Marvel–as I’ve begun saying, “Friends don’t let friends buy Secret Invasion.” (they will, however, let a friend read it so they know WHY not to buy it.)

Collated Secret Invasion, all my Final Crisis issues/tie-ins, Batman from/including Ressurection of R’as al Ghul to present (RIP/Last Rites), Superman (& the Legion of Super-Heroes, Brainiac, New Krypton), the “Thy Kingdom Come” saga in Justice Society (10-current, annual #1, Kingdom specials), plus the Green Lantern issues since Sinestro Corps wrapped up last year.

Point of this–in addition to loaning comics–is to try to re-read stuff myself. I’m curious if Batman RIP will make any more sense reading it straight through rather than with (a) month(s) between issues. Also curious at reading some of the other series straight through in a sitting instead of across half a year or more.

I’ve got today off work since it’s Christmas Eve. However, I’ve been up since my usual time for getting up, thanks to an itunes “radio” channel I was listening to.  A song came on aparently called “Mean Kitty,” and it was quite amusing to me. Checked YouTube for anything on it, and discovered that’s actually where it originated–this guy made a music video about his “mean kitty” (turns out kitty wasn’t mean, kitty just wanted attention). And there’re quite a few follow ups. Needless to say, I blew nearly an hour and a half goin’ through the videos ‘n such.

I miss Christy. Though we had a close call with her several years ago (told she’d be lucky to make it two weeks), we got 3 more years with her. And because I personally didn’t really SEE her sick, it never really hit me what it would mean to really lose her.

And yet I’ve tried to brace myself for losing Kayla for years now–she’s 18, which is PHENOMENAL for a cat, especially when I’ve been stuck on a stat from years ago that the average cat lives 7-12 years. And Kayla’s got her share of health things such that I have no illusions of having more than maybe a few more months with her. But in that morbid, NOT-wanting-it-to-ever-have-to-happen way, I’ve “expected” her to go first. And then to go from one day Christy’s sick to a coule days later she’s got leukemia to a couple days later she’s GONE….and leaving her laying where she was, not picking her up, not holding her, simply telling her “don’t die….” and trusting that I’d see her a few days later…

Well, it’s Christmas Eve. Sure doesn’t feel like it.

Maybe it’ll set in later.

12 weeks

December 18, 2008

It’s been 12 weeks today since losing Christy.

She was our younger cat–‘only’ 13 1/2 years old (Kayla–our older–hit 18 about 2 1/2 months ago).

Seeing what losing her has done in me….makes me fear all the more what losing Kayla will do.

A thousand-words-via-single-picture post.

November 30, 2008

Booking Through Thursday: Thankfulness?

November 27, 2008

Booking Through Thursday

Today is Thanksgiving here in the U.S.

Now, you may have noticed that the global economy isn’t exactly doing well. There’s war. Starvation. All sorts of bad, scary things going on.

So–just for today–how about sharing 7 things that you’re thankful for?

This can be about books, sure–authors you appreciate, books you love, an ode to your public library–but also, how about other things, too? Because in times like these, with bills piling up and disaster seemingly lurking around every corner, it’s more important than ever to stop and take stock of the things we’re grateful for. Family. Friends. Good health (I hope). Coffee and tea. Turkey. Sunshine. Wagging tails. Curling up with a good book.

So, how about it? Spread a little positive thinking and tell the world what there is to be thankful for.

  1. I live in a country where I am free to practice/express my faith without fear of fatal repercussions.
  2. My parents are safely in NY with my sister with no road troubles or other incidents.
  3. I don’t have to work tomorrow
  4. I got one more Thanksgiving with Kayla (my cat)
  5. I am employed.
  6. I have lots of good memories with lots of great people (see my blog post earlier today)
  7. DC’s (Waid/Ross) Kingdom Come: excellent story, still holds up in TPB format all these years later

This has been my first-ever solo (except for the cat) Thanksgiving.  Very low-key, and other than consciously knowing it is–and these blog posts–hasn’t felt like it. Been consciously trying to keep my mind occupied/distracted…today is eight weeks now since losing Christy. I am thankful for the 13-some years we had her…but I still miss her so. Kayla reminded me of her tonight: pawing at the floor as she drank, just the way Christy used to.

Emotional gut-punch

November 9, 2008

Tonight, after getting the cat to use her litterbox rather than the floor, wanted to give her a “treat” to reward/reinforce her good behavior.

Opened a fresh package, and immediately got a weird feeling.  Pulled a couple treats out, tried to hold them for her to eat out of my hand.  She took one after some licking, then dropped it on the floor.  Tried giving her the other, and she did the same thing.  My first thought was to not worry much and feed her that second one–after all, whatever Kayla didn’t eat, Christy would’ve eaten.

Therein lies the problem.

The last time I’d handled this kind of treats, the last time I’d attempted to feed this kind of treats to a cat was that Sunday seven weeks ago.  Just about the very last experience I had with Christy.

I wound up putting the loose treats on a newspaper, closing the package up, and walking away.

Just wasn’t something I could handle.

So outta the blue, never expected/considered the emotional gut-punch that’d hit.

And the weeks keep on…

October 30, 2008

It’s been five weeks, now.

My Thursday evening drives home from work are always haunted by the memory of that evening, of the suddenness of the loss.

My heart still hurts, I still grieve over her.

And two horrible thoughts linger, deep inside me.